Some people listen, while others merely wait to speak. Good listening plays an important role in all communication. Learning to listen well and to become aware of different levels of meaning in what is said is an art that is certainly worth practicing.

To become a better listener:

Put aside all personal issues and become “one big ear”! Be attentive. Concentrate on hearing what the speaker has to say.

Comment on what you hear, and individualize your comments. Example: “Cheryl, that’s obviously very important to you.” It will help keep you on track as a listener. Get beyond “That’s interesting.” If you train yourself to comment meaningfully, the speaker will know you are listening and may offer further information.

Show empathy. If you are hearing something sad, give some acknowledgement of how difficult it must have been. If you respond to human issues, people will respond to you.

Don’t ignore opportunities for humor. When it arises naturally out of a conversation, humor enhances what may otherwise be an overly somber situation. Avoid sarcasm, however, which is rarely humorous, regardless at whom it is directed.

Be aware of nonverbal communication: response to silence, facial expressions, tone of voice, body gestures. Repetition of certain words can also be a sign to consider. These can be telling symptoms, but don’t allow these messages to be the basis for speedy conclusions.

Know the value of silence. A brief period of silence will generally cause the speaker to produce more in-depth responses, and allow both of you to reflect on what’s been said, ask additional questions, seek further clarification, or provide more information.

Ask questions to clarify information. The best indicators that you hear and understand are your questions and how you ask them.

Be sure you are not making inaccurate assumptions. When the speaker leaves a point unfinished, finish it yourself and ask for agreement, or simply ask the speaker to finish it.

Be careful. Most people have an almost immediate grasp of the obvious. Few of us can grasp immediately what a speaker means to convey. Take time to care. Take time to listen.