Gerard I. Nierenberg

Are You A Good Negotiator?

1. Are you always aware of your own negotiation philosophy before you begin negotiating?

2. Have you ever taught another person how to negotiate?

3. Can you describe your ten best negotiating techniques?

4. When a negotiation has failed, can you pinpoint the reasons?

5. In negotiating is it preferable to deal with someone with more negotiating experience than you have?

“Your success as a sales professional,” suggests Gerard I. Nierenberg, “may well depend on your success as a negotiator.” After spending a lifetime as a professional negotiator, he authored the first book on the subject in 1968 (The Art of Negotiating). He founded the Negotiation Institute, Inc., in New York City and began a pioneering effort to define and advance this critical business science. Mr. Nierenberg’s advice and counsel are sought throughout the world where he lectures for business and governments. “Many people think they are sharp negotiators,” says Mr. Nierenberg, who now has six best-selling books to his credit, “when actually they have only a small number of negotiating techniques at their command.

When Personal Selling Power interviewed Mr. Nierenberg to learn more about how his negotiation experience could be applied to selling, he quickly suggested widening the focus because, “We are involved in negotiating in one form or another each day of our lives.” He illustrated his point with this little anecdote: “A few years ago, the president of a large conglomerate came up to me after a seminar on negotiating mergers and acquisitions. He said, “Jerry, we’ve been doing pretty well this year and there is little you can tell me about mergers and acquisitions. We know how to make money. But you told me something important about personal negotiations because I had a discussion with my son before I left his morning, and he told me what I could do with my whole conglomerate.”

PSP: You are a lawyer by training. Did you learn about negotiation in your legal practice?

Nierenberg: This may surprise you, but legal expertise is no help in negotiation. Most lawyer have little training in negotiating other than their own experience. Lawyers are trained as adversaries. In an adversary relationship, you want to win. Practicing law only taught me that many legal victories have little to do with resolving a problem so that it stays resolved. Contracts that end up in court can turn a short term winner quickly into a long term loser. PSP: What is the goal of a negotiation relationship, compared to an adversary relationship?

Nierenberg: In a negotiation relationship, you want to resolve a problem so that it stays resolved. You want to create an agreement that lasts, where both parties remain satisfied in the long run. In a successful negotiation, everyone wins.

PSP: How can everyone win in a competitive society?

Nierenberg: The purpose of competition is to make everyone better, not to kill your competitor. If we would kill all our competitors, we would end up with an unproductive monopoly. Competition brings out the differences, and effective negotiations integrates these differences so that everyone gains. For example, in selling, your competitors teach you how to stay on your toes and remind you that they are going to do more for your customers if you don’t do it.

PSP: You said once that negotiating is one of the lease understood arts in human affairs. What are some of the discoveries you have made that could help us understand more about the negotiation process?

Nierenberg: Well, most people view negotiating as a process where two people are involved in dividing a slice of pie. Their main goal is to get the larger piece. After studying negotiation for over 17 years, we’ve come to the conclusion that the goal of a negotiation should not be how to divide the slice of pie, but how to make more pie.

PSP: When did you create the Negotiation Institute and how many people have you trained?

Nierenberg: We created the Negotiation Institute in 1966. Its purpose is to expand the knowledge of negotiation and to train negotiators. We do this through our public seminars, in-house seminars, video and audio tapes. To date, in our public seminars alone, we’ve trained over 115,000 people.

PSP: You’ve written several books on the subject. One of your books seems to suggest that we all have a negotiation philosophy whether we are aware of that philosophy or not. Is that correct?

Nierenberg: Yes. One of the strongest forces in our choosing one course of action over another is our philosophy. We need to look at our philosophy occasionally and find out how it is working for us. Our philosophy is made to serve us. We are not made to serve our philosophy.

PSP: Let’s talk about the profession of selling. What type of philosophy would you recommend for a successful sales negotiation?

Nierenberg: A successful salesperson uses a problem-oriented philosophy. He views the prospect’s problem as a mutual problem. He wants to plan with the client, not for the client. The other side of the coin would be the salesperson with the game-oriented philosophy. He views the prospect as an adversary, someone who must be controlled or manipulated. If you are trying to push or control your prospect, you will only increase his defenses and decrease your chances of making the sale.

PSP: You are talking about the emotional climate during a sale. How important are feelings in a sales negotiation?

Nierenberg: Let me answer with a question. How do you feel when you realize that the prospect is out to win and make you lose?

PSP: I probably would feel antagonized, competitive, or challenged.

Nierenberg: Right. Most people would react that way. You see, in these situations, our emotional defense systems tend to take over. As a consequence, we are tempted to break off communication or want to make the other person lose.

PSP: How can we control the climate in a sales negotiation?

Nierenberg: If I am accusing, judgmental, correcting or indoctrinating, I will most likely create a defensive prospect. For example, when I tell a prospect that my product is the best in the whole world . . . I am imposing a value judgement which will create a defensive climate.

PSP: How can I avoid defensive reactions?

Nierenberg: It’s so easy. You can create a supportive climate by being descriptive. You could say, “Our product is currently used by 30,000 customers nationwide.” Let the customer appraise your information; don’t do it for him. Remember, customers want to learn, but they resist being taught.

PSP: What about if the prospect starts out being defensive?

Nierenberg: It is much easier to change someone who is being defensive to you by being supportive to them, rather than to be defensive to them. You see, when we hit a tennis ball over the net, the kind of spin we put on the ball determines what type of return shot we are going to get. It’s the same with negotiation climates. The type of climate you create determines the type of climate you’re going to get.

PSP: We’ve talked about how our philosophies influence our negotiations and how the climate contributes to the outcome. How important is nonverbal communication in the negotiation process?

Nierenberg: It is a very important contributing factor. Most salespeople have only a limited awareness of the prospect’s body language. The untrained sales negotiator may overlook as much as 50% of all nonverbal messages.

PSP: How easily can we interpret a prospect’s gestures?

Nierenberg: A gesture does not mean anything by itself, unless we put it into a context. In order to understand what’s going on, we must observe what I call a cluster or group of gestures. We need to watch out for the many shifts and changes, before we can see the prospect move from one attitude to another. Also, we need to compare the nonverbal messages to what is said verbally so we can find out if the prospect’s body is confirming or denying his verbal expressions.

PSP: What is the prospect’s gestures are inconsistent with the verbal message?

Nierenberg: The nonverbal expression will give you the prospect’s true attitude.

PSP: What can we do when we realize that our own bodies communicate a defensive attitude? How can we change it?

Nierenberg: By changing our feelings, we’ll automatically change our body language. It’s important to read our own gestures during a negotiation. They tell us how we feel, so we can examine the underlying causes. Once we realize what contributed to our defensive attitude, we can go ahead and change it.

PSP: How about negotiations on the telephone, where we can’t see the prospect’s body language?

Nierenberg: Francis Bacon said once, long before he telephone was invented, “If you have something important to communicate, don’t write.” I say, if you have something important to negotiate, don’t call.

PSP: Do you feel that people are more impulsive on the telephone than in person?

Nierenberg: No, but we do things on the telephone we never would do in person. It’s like when you get behind the wheel of a car and do things to other people that you would never do face to face. Some people are afraid on the telephone, some people become preoccupied with the expense of the call, and others become rash and rude and hang up.

PSP: In your book, The Art of Negotiating, you describe many difference negotiation techniques like “apparent withdrawal,” “feinting,” the “salami tactic” or the “crossroads strategy.” These techniques sound like guidelines for a game, and yet, in your seminars you say that negotiation and life are not game. Aren’t you contradicting yourself?

Nierenberg: Let me clarify this point for you. In a game, you have a limited number of alternatives. In a negotiation, you have an infinite number of alternatives. Games can be played over again and players can be substituted. Life can’t be played over. The rules of a game are given. But what do we know about the rules of life? Think about the many rules prospects make up during a negotiation. Or, think about how many prospects actually subscribe to their own rules. Negotiation is not a simple process of sacrificing for the sake of agreement. Negotiation is not an infantile “let’s split the difference” proposition. Negotiation is a process of maximizing our interests.

PSP: In other words, the experienced negotiator does not view the negotiating process as an “I win – you lose” game.

Nierenberg: Exactly. Amateurs want to play games; professionals want to solve problems so they stay solved.

PSP: What is your measure of success?

Nierenberg: To be able to pass on some of my own experiences that I have had.

PSP: Thank you for a successful interview.

7 Keys to Create Positive Climates in Sales Negotiations By Gerard I. Nierenberg

1. Body Language
Avoid using gestures that are inconsistent with what is said. Don’t take an open attitude by grinning and manipulating your body language. Unless you are a great actor, you’ll never get away with it. By the time your mind thinks what body language would be appropriate, it will be too late. You’ll look like an actor in a dubbed foreign movie, your gestures will be behind the spoken word. Remember, genuine gestures precede the spoken world.

2. Open-Mindedness
Be open-minded to all potential strategies and tactics. Avoid limiting yourself to the strategies and tactics that have merely worked before.

3. Questions
Use questions to establish your prospect’s needs, to clarify issues, to consider new alternatives. Effective questions channel thoughts, guide the discussions and lead to greater understanding. Avoid questions that create anxiety. (Example: How can anyone say that we don’t have a good product?”)

4. Listening

Listen carefully. Evaluate the prospect’s statement before responding. Avoid interruptions or contradictions.

5. Clarity

Communicate clearly. Avoid using technical terms and clichés. Your role is to clarify, not to obstruct. Complex language builds a barrier between you and your prospect.

6. Neutrality
Avoid value judgments. Use neutral, descriptive terms. Don’t assume the role of the teacher who indoctrinates. Assume the role of the explorer who helps the prospect discover a problem, then solve the problem together.

7. Creativity
Avoid using either/or alternatives. Instead, develop creative alternatives. For example, to get away from the typical price negotiation, develop new alternatives like: improved delivery, group price, package deal, extended terms, custom design, extra service, different deposits, customized payment plan, insurance for unknown losses, prevention of risks through new guarantees, letting the buyer produce some of the parts, allowing discounts for advance payments, etc.

Answers to quiz

1. Good negotiators are aware of their negotiation philosophy before they enter a negotiation. Research at the Negotiation Institute has shown that the outcome of any negotiation depends on our negotiating philosophy.

2. If you can teach your own negotiation techniques to someone else, you’re already past the amateur status.

3. The inexperienced negotiator knows or uses only a handful of negotiation techniques. Good negotiators sharpen their skills and learn new techniques on an ongoing basis.

4. The inexperienced negotiator rationalizes failures by saying, “I don’t want to do business with that type of person anymore.” Good negotiators examine their failures and learn to pinpoint and avoid poor negotiating techniques.

5. Inexperienced negotiators want to deal with people who have less experience in negotiating. Experienced negotiators want to deal with people who have more experience. The object of negotiating is to come to a lasting agreement. Someone with more experience will more likely come up with more alternatives that lead to better solutions.

How to Interpret Your Score:

Five Yes Answers: You are a good negotiator and you’ll enjoy reading Mr. Nierenberg’s latest ideas on negotiating.

Four or Less Yes Answers: Congratulations! You’ll benefit most from reading our interview with Mr. Nierenberg – a master negotiator.