Stop Nodding and Ask

We’ve all been there: An important prospect is talking about something you don’t understand, but you think you’re supposed to understand. So to maintain the image of an intelligent, experienced sales professional, you start nodding. Soon, your mind is more focused on nodding at the right times than on absorbing information and in the end you both leave the conversation feeling dissatisfied with its superficiality. What’s going on here?

“When confronted with a situation or challenge that we don’t understand or agree with, it is commonplace to nod our heads and pretend like we understand,” says Joel Epstein, CEO of Friction Factor and author of The Little Book on Big Ego (Alnola Productions, 2006). “We do it because we think we’ll look stupid or unintelligent if we don’t immediately understand or ‘get’ what is being communicated to us. Our ego says, ‘Stand there and look like you know what is going on, and that way we’ll look just as smart as everyone else.’”

In sales, this innate tendency can be a deal killer. If you don’t stop and ask questions about something you don’t understand, you won’t have a complete grasp of the prospect’s situation, which means you won’t be able to tailor your solution to meet his or her exact needs. When you instead learn to push your ego aside and say, “Excuse me, but I don’t understand what you’re talking about. Can you please explain that again?” you’ll find you start having deeper, more satisfying conversations that lead to increased sales. Moreover, when you start asking questions, “you become the smartest person in the room, immediately,” says Epstein.

So how do you move from being a robotic nodder to being a persistent questioner? Walk “The A Line,” says Epstein:

• ADMIT to yourself that you don’t understand.
• ASK for clarification when you don’t “get it.”
• ADJUST your thought process to accept and understand the new concept.
• ACHIEVE incredible growth by learning something new or embracing a new concept.

It looks easy on paper, but it’s no small feat to admit to another person that you don’t know something. We all fear we’re going to ask a “stupid” question or that our conversation partner will think less of us if we don’t know what he’s talking about. In reality, most people are thrilled to know the other person is listening, is interested, and feels the topic worth asking about. “You will radically change your life when you ignore your ego and start to ask questions when you don’t understand what’s being said to you,” promises Epstein.

For more ideas, visit www.FrictionFactor.net.