Being Nice Can Close the Deal

A few years back, Russ Edelman came out of an ordinary meeting with an extraordinary epiphany.

Edelman, president and CEO of a consulting company, a leader in the technology industry, and the number one expert on nice guys, says, “One of my reps and I went to meet his client at a big building in New York City. We had a great meeting with the guy. We went over all the work we had done, and we all agreed everything was great. We all shook hands and said, ‘See you next time.’ And then, as we were walking down the street, I looked at my rep and said, ‘We did absolutely nothing to further that deal back there.’”

It might seem a fairly innocent observation, but Edelman, author of Nice Guys Can Get the Corner Office: Eight Strategies for Winning in Business Without Being a Jerk (Portfolio Hardcover, 2008), says the experience captures a lot of what is wrong with sales today. The sales industry attracts gregarious people, and good reps have a knack for establishing relationships and making connections. But all too often, their “niceness” – their willingness to be helpful, their hesitancy to impose – holds them back from being great.  

“I’ve managed salespeople,” says Edelman, who’s founded two successful companies of his own, including Corridor Consulting, which helps such companies as Saatchi & Saatchi and Dunkin’ Donuts implement different technologies. “I’m a salesperson,” he says. “I’ve talked to countless other sales managers and business owners, and this is one of the biggest problems they face. They’ve got salespeople who are basically paid meeting-attenders.”

Losing Out

If you’re recognizing some of yourself in this portrait, you’re not alone. Since having his epiphany, Edelman’s talked to all kinds of bigwigs, from Jack and Susie Welch to Tom Peters, who said Edelman’s was an idea that “could change the world.” Eventually, the idea turned into Nice Guys Can Get the Corner Office, cowritten with experts Tim Hiltabiddle and Charles C. Manz. Featuring exclusive interviews with numerous CEOs and leaders, including Herb Kelleher (Southwest Airlines), Jeff Taylor (Monster and Eons), and Brian Scudamore (1-800-Got-Junk?), the book outlines how to make niceness work for you, not against you.

Not that Edelman sees anything wrong with being nice, per se. “It’s not just a case of being a wimp or a hero. Often you have people who just need some tweaks. With just a few knob twists, they could be that much more effective.”

Nice: A Definition

Edelman talks about two kinds of nice: the new and the old. The old nice is the bad nice. It’s the guy whose niceness is the only thing he has going for him. Clients might enjoy talking with him, but at the end of the day, they’re not buying.  

“This is what we refer to as overly nice,” says Edelman. “Always putting other people’s feelings first without leaving room to perform.”

That’s the irony of being overly nice – it ends up hurting everyone. A meeting that goes nowhere is a waste of time for all parties. Reluctance to speak up and advance a mutually beneficial agenda robs your client of golden opportunities. The financial losses are also undeniable. That meeting Edelman had in New York City? A quick analysis shows how “nice” hurt his bottom line.

“We invested the time to fly all the way there. If I pay a sales rep a base of $110,000 to $120,000 a year, with the upside potential for on-target earnings of up to $300,000, then you can see how it ends up being really costly.”

The New Nice

“The new definition of nice is a more balanced approach,” Edelman explains. “To be ‘effectively nice’ means you take into account the other person, as well as yourself. You don’t want to bend over backward to help other people at the cost of your performance.”

In their book, Edelman and his coauthors measure niceness on a “nice guy scale.” On one end is the wimp. The pushover. The doormat. On the other end is the jerk. The trick is to help the overly nice come more to center.

“We don’t want them to be jerks or wimps,” Edelman says. “We want them to retain those good qualities of nice –  kindness, fairness, compassion, sincerity – but we also want them to be more assertive.”

What holds nice guys back from acting more assertive? Fear of being judged. A lack of confidence in their abilities or product. Guilt about ending a relationship with a nice prospect whose account is unprofitable. Feelings of inferiority. In order to move forward, the overly nice guy has to let some of these insecurities go. Edelman says this requires a shift in thinking.

“A lot of sales reps believe it’s an imposition to push people a little bit further. But what’s wrong with going into an account and saying, ‘I bring value to the table. I have a lot of good ideas and experience. But if this isn’t a good match, let’s go have a beer one night, but I need to be on my way to find other customers for whom I can really help add value’?”

The balance between nice and not-so-nice isn’t so much about an agenda, it’s about strategy. “We have to make sure that there is absolute direction and movement and execution in terms of business,” Edelman says. “We won’t ask to go to meet clients unless we understand what the objectives are and where they stand. So we would say, ‘We are happy to come meet with you, Mr. Customer; however, let’s make sure we understand what kind of opportunity we are trying to solve for.’ You put a framework in place so that you’re all pulling together.”

The End Goal

In the world of the new nice, reps ask questions designed to unearth value-oriented opportunities. A simple “How’s business?” isn’t going to cut it. A more focused approach to the conversation might not be so popular with reps who enjoy the social aspect of sales but have problems pushing the deal forward for fear of being seen as pushy. Edelman has found that it helps to set boundaries for the discussion early on.

“You want to build a framework that allows you to achieve success,” he says. “So, in a meeting, you might say, ‘I appreciate the time you’re taking to meet with us today. Our goal here is to understand what it is you’re looking to do so we can hit that objective. And we want to make sure this is a good fit for us.’”

If the fit isn’t a good one, it’s better to find out sooner rather than later. “If you’re selling apples and somebody wants oranges, simply say, ‘I’ve got apples; you want an orange. Time to move on.’ Time to get to another customer. A lot of salespeople spend way too much time trying to squeeze that apple into an orange.”

For more information or to order Nice Guys Can Get the Corner Office, visit www.niceguystrategies.com.