1. Look genuinely pleased to see her. Once on a trip to Mexico, a young teenager with his little sister beside him came up to me on the street.

“Hello!” he smiled. “I am the one you have been searching for!”

I was astounded. “What do you mean?” I asked. He had nothing in his hands to sell. All around us vendors were calling out their wares of serapes, food, birds, all kinds of things for sale.

“Look at this, lady,” he grinned. He pulled out a clear plastic vial of opals from his pocket. “These match your eyes. They are full of fire, too. You deserve them. My sister and I dug them out of the mountain early this morning. I want you to have them.”

I bought all he had. He was right. The excitement, the love, the enthusiasm in his eyes were what I was waiting for. We all hope to find an interested salesperson.

2. Smile. Some salesmen seem to impart the idea they only like to talk to young sexy girls. They are bored with all other women. Remember, the 50 year old woman may be the chairman of the Board or C.E.O. of her company. Treat her with respect and interest. She has the money to buy.

Once when I had a luncheon at a beautiful restaurant with a young salesman we were interrupted by a fashion show of beautiful models. He asked the first one: “Would you be so kind as to tell the models not to stop to talk at this table. We are holding a business meeting, and I do not want to miss a word my customer says.” I bought the business machine I needed from him.

3. Ask Questions. My friend of the mind, Ben Franklin, once said, “Put on the role of the humble inquirer.” We all hate the canned sales talk that goes on and on, with no questions about our needs.

An example is the microwave oven. Women do not buy them for the machinery. They buy them because when they rush home from work, they want to get the family’s dinner ready in a hurry. Quick cooking is what they purchase. We buy what the machine will do for us. The results.

So don’t start with your sales talk. Begin with gentle, interested questions. “How will you be using it?” “What do you need to accomplish?” “What is most important to you, size, safety, color? Tell me about your needs.” Then show the woman buyer that your product or service will be the perfect solution for her problem. Tell her you want her to have it, that she deserves it.

4. Include her in the conversation. Ask her what she is going to use the car for. To haul horses? Then talk about horses. To deliver orders? Ask about her business. To run children around to their activities? Talk about safety. Be interested in her life, her business, her family. So few men do this with women, you will be a standout.

5. Don’t call her honey, baby, dolly, or sexy. Some women buyers will get mad and leave. Some will just seethe inwardly. These names are not funny, they are insulting. Ask her for her name. Give her yours. Call her by her name in a respectful way.

6. Get in step with her. If your woman buyer speaks rapidly, answer in the same fashion. If she speaks slowly, don’t rush her. Tune in on her. See her dream. Whatever she tells you, make notes. Be her buyer’s assistant.

One of the greatest salesmen I ever met helped me to buy a gorgeous Pontiac Catalina. It was so beautiful. So expensive. He asked many questions about my advertising business. He was interested. He invited me to sit down, got me a cold soft drink.

He explained that I deserved the very best car available. I had worked so hard. He wanted me to have a car that would look good with my blonde-red hair, and would not break down when I needed it. That certainly made sense to me! He told me I would easily pay for this gorgeous car by setting new goals, raising my prices, selling more prestige accounts.

Then he capped his ideas with the thought that I should have the name of my company painted on the door. I did it all. He was right. My Catalina changed my image. I began hiring people in my advertising business. We opened a second office. We set our sights higher and grew. Those payments were not hard to make because I loved that car. My car salesman was responsible for my business prospering because he saw what I could do.

7. Get a ” her side” attitude. Whenever possible sit on the same side of the desk. Put on the role of her helper. You are not there to fight with her, or to be a verbal adversary. She doesn’t want to arm wrestle with you to get what she wants to buy.

Zig Ziglar tells the story of the best salesperson in the pot and pan company he worked for as a young man. This sales lady would sit down on the davenport in the home of the prospect. She would lay out her catalog of pots and pans in front of her customer. Then she would say, “Tell me about all of those worn out, banged up pots in your kitchen that they expect you to work with.”

After the customer itemized the old pans on hand, the saleswoman would shake her head and say, “No man would be expected to do good work with worn out tools like that.”

“These pots and pans here in my catalog book are what the big chefs use. The very best. The kind you deserve. Down at the factory those men have these good cooking tools stacked up to the ceiling! Now you just pick out what you need for your work.”

8. Use blarney, not baloney. Blarney is the varnished truth – it consists of caring and kindness. Baloney is an unvarnished lie. Calling an older woman “cute” is baloney. A woman recognizes a false compliment when delivered. It makes her mad.

Blarney is something else. It is fun. An older woman can be wise, intelligent, witty, elegant, charming. She may be a genius at her work, have a great memory. Appreciate her for what she is. Blarney is a glow on your words. It makes her smile.

9. Be a friend. A salesperson who approaches the woman buyer with an interested, friendly, service attitude will be called again and again, and recommended to others. Women love to tell each other about good beauticians, caterers, all kinds of services. Many businesses are built on these friendly referrals.

10. Ask her what color she likes. Some women feel the same way about a car, couch or wallpaper as they do about the clothing they wear. They want it to complement their personal coloring. They are particular about it. They understand that colors themselves are emotional. When this woman gets mad, she sees red. Does a man shirk his duty? He is yellow. Is she sad? She feels blue. When she is in love, it is with a purple passion.

Women often say, “I have to get this room painted, I can’t work here with this color.” Don’t argue with her. Help her to get what she wants. When you deal with a woman buyer, she wants it all: service, prompt delivery, good price, and she wants it in a sharp, becoming color.

11. Recognize her intelligence. Don’t be like a salesman who called on me to sell my company a computer. Since I am the president of four corporations, I make these decisions.

He began by asking me when the “Boss” would be there. Then he set up a flip chart on my desk and began reading the three word pages to me. I gently told him that I am a speed reader. Then I explained that I wanted to buy the machine to solve some problems and asked if we could discuss the solutions.

“No use in doing that, baby. Your husband is not here to authorize the deal.”

My smile froze. I gritted my teeth, got up, and suggested he call some other time. Then I immediately dialed his competitor.

The competitor began by asking me to tell them all about the things I would like the machine to do for my business. They sold me the solutions to my problems. I bought from them.

12. Remember, all women are not the same. A California Cadillac saleswoman named Sue said she likes to work with women. She tells them, “I’ll work hard for you.”

She gets over on their side. To qualify the woman buyer, Sue pops the hood of a car. If the woman leans forward and asks questions about the motor, Sue knows her woman buyer is mechanical. She then talks motors and technical information.

But if the woman buyer says, “I don’t understand what makes the car work! I just want it to go!” then Sue has a different technique. She tells her woman buyer that she will personally go with her to the service department each time she brings the car back in for service. Then she shows her a beautiful key holder and a gold key. Sue says, “When you buy your car from me, we’ll keep it purring. The only thing you will need is the key. And just to be sure you don’t ever run out of keys, I am going to give you four extra ones, just like this, in holders to match this gorgeous upholstery.”

Then, after Sue writes up the order just the way her woman buyer wants it, she asks her whom she knows who needs her help.

Sue, the Cadillac salesperson, aims at the target.

13. Women are sense conscious. Women buyers like to feel and hold things. A famous cosmetic firm instructs their salespeople to hand the product to the customer. They find 50 percent of those who hold the item will buy it.

Women are ear conscious. They are attracted to men who are charming, articulate, witty and interested. Being fun is the #1 virtue women list as desirable in a mate. A woman likes a man who talks to her.

Stanford University reports: “Women have better hearing, mentally visualize better, and are more conscious of color as it relates to emotion.”

Practice these magic words:

What is your dream? Would you tell me about it? How will you use it? What is most important to you? May I show you something new? Would you help me? Please hold this for a moment. Tell me if you like this. What if? How do you see it? What do you think? Would you be so kind as to recommend me to your friends? Who do you know that I could serve today?

When the woman buyer answers, try these responses:

Me, too. That is my favorite. Wonderful choice. I admire women like you who…Great taste. You deserve it. We are proud to serve you. Thank you, I appreciate…Feel the weight, solid. Quality. You are my kind of customer. I want you to have it. Count on me. I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of all the details. It was such a pleasure. I enjoyed working with you. Let’s set another appointment for next week.

As I tell audiences around the world, the new woman buyer has lots of money. She looks upon herself as brave. She likes to be appreciated for her unique talents and abilities. She wants a good buy, but in the color she prefers. She wants you to be her friend, mentor and advisor. She is worth the effort because she will go out of her way to recommend you to her friends.

Dottie Walters is president of Royal Publishing and is a past president of The National Speakers Association. Well-known as an authority on sales and women in sales, she is the author of The Selling Power of a Woman. For more information write Dottie Walters, Royal Publishing Inc., 18825 Hicrest Rd., Glendora, CA 91740 or call 818/335-8069.