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To Improve Your Sales, Learn How to Manage Your Self-Talk

By dr. marty seldman

As a salesperson, two of your most valuable assets are your attitudes and your emotions. Whether you make or lose a potential sale often depends on how you manage these assets. By engaging in positive self-talk, you can master these assets and be in charge of yourself at every stage of the sale.

I have outlined below several typical selling cases. Put yourself into the salesperson’s shoes. How would you react and respond? Then, spontaneously, without censoring your thoughts, write down what you would say to yourself if you were that salesperson in that situation. After you’ve written down your reaction, go on to read the two examples of other salespeople responding to the same situation.

Case Number One: Problems during the sales presentation

A computer salesman has been working to make a large sale to the management information systems department of a division of a Fortune 500 company. He has designed an elaborate presentation to deliver to the key decision makers in the MIS department.

While giving the first half of the presentation, the salesman realizes that it is not going well at all. His audience is not responding positively, their body language is discouraging and their questions seem somewhat hostile.

What is your self-talk?

Self-talk: Salesman A

I’m bombing! I’m blowing the whole deal. These cold, dead fish are really getting me uptight, just staring at me. Wait till my manager hears about this. He’ll never let me present a big deal again by myself. I wish this was over!

Self-talk: Salesman B

Things are not going well. I thought they would receive this much more positively. I’ve got to find out what they are reacting to the proposal itself or how I’m delivering it. I’d better stop at a logical point and make a sincere effort to get their honest feedback so that I can focus better on their needs. If I can work in a break, maybe I can get one-on-one with some of them and find out exactly what’s going on. Then I can make some improvements. OK, take a deep breath, dig deeper and concentrate.

Case Number Two: After making the sale

Roberta L. sells advertising for a radio station in a small northeastern city. For the past three weeks, she has been working toward selling a large amount of advertising time to a local chain of restaurants. On Friday afternoon, the vice-president of the chain calls and tells her that her proposal has been approved and they want to buy the time she suggested. After working out some details and thanking him, Roberta hangs up.

What is your self-talk:

Self-talk: Roberta Number One

I got it! This calls for a celebration. I’m going to call Joe and take him out to eat in our favorite restaurant.

Self-talk: Roberta Number Two

I got it! This calls for a celebration tonight. While this sale is fresh in my mind, I’d better take a few minutes to go over and write down what I did right. What steps did I take? What were the factors under my control that contributed to this sale? I don’t want to have to reinvent the wheel every time, so what do I want to make sure I do again in this type of situation?

Case Number Three: After losing the sale

A large real estate development corporation has built a new resort in a Sun Belt state. The resort is located at a considerable distance from current travel patterns, and the corporation has decided to use a variety of incentive marketing programs to bring prospective purchasers to the resort. Currently they are selling lots, patio homes on a golf course and time-sharing villas.

The marketing program is effective, and many visitors come to obtain the incentives (such as trips and cameras) and to see the resort. The on-site sales force consists of nine men and women including John H., who has toured 15 couples in the last two trips without making a sale.

Today he has taken another couple on a sales tour and again he has failed to make a sale. After the couple has left, John is walking back to the office.

What is your self-talk?

Self-talk: John Number One:

These people don’t want to buy. All they do is come up here for some freebies and waste my time. What a pain! And how am I supposed to sell anything with the way they are developing this place? There’s construction crap all over. It looks like a war zone. They’ve got all these number crunchers running things and nobody knows what they’re doing.

Self-talk: John Number Two:

This is bad. I’m zero for two weeks. I can’t pass this off as bad luck or bad prospects because some of the other people are making sales. If I start putting these prospects down or taking my frustrations out on them, I’ll really dig a hole for myself. I’m in a slump. I’ve been in slumps before and I’ll get out of this one, but I’ve got to get some feedback about what I’m doing.

All these nos I’m getting show me I’m off track, but I need to identify the specifics I need to change. I’m going to ask Ann about her approach because she seems to be doing pretty well. I’m also going to go through my entire presentation strategy with Dan and get his feedback.

You have now seen that some self-communications are more helpful than others. Review the self-talk responses you wrote after reading each case. Underline the self-talk that you think would be useful and circle the self-talk that would create attitudes or feelings that might hurt your performance. Reflect on past selling experiences and the self-talk associated with them. Can you come up with any negative patterns of self-talk between the above exercises and your past experience? Put these negative patterns on 3×5 index cards. On the flip side of each negative pattern, rewrite a positive pattern of self-talk. Review these cards until more positive self-talk patterns become second nature.

The best path to make new thinking part of your mental environment is to take action consistent with the new attitudes and beliefs. In addition to using helpful, positive, self-talk, it is important to act on that new attitude. Try some new sales approaches to see what you can learn. Instead of covering mistakes, you could start to discuss them with other salespeople or with your sales manager. By setting up specific feedback systems, you show yourself and others that you really want to learn and improve.

Martin J. Seldman, Ph.D. is a sales training and management consultant. His book, Super Selling Through Self-Talk (Price Stern Sloan, Inc., Los Angeles, CA, paper-$7.95), explores the power of positive self talk. For more information, write Dr. Marty Seldman, 744 Tidewater Court, Ponte Vedra Beach, FL 32082, or call 904/285-8184.