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How to Direct Changes in Your Life

By Jim Tunney

As a part of my work I travel around the country giving speeches on the dynamics of motivation and achievement. Perhaps it’s an address before a sales group that has received management’s challenge to double sales, or perhaps it’s an in-service conference for teachers who are trying to refresh their zeal for educating today’s students. The purposes of meetings vary widely and the presentation changes to meet these different needs, but the intent is always the same, to be both inspiring and educational. Why? Because you need both motivation and information to direct changes in your life. One is powerless without the other.

Take inspiration. Alone, it is about as good as getting the team together but forgetting the ball; there’s hope, but no action. Information without motivation is even worse. It sits useless, like a library of unread books.

Inspiration and information in tandem can create change, but neither can work very long on its own. However, given a good amount of each, practically anything can be accomplished.

These two components of action-inspiration and information – usually do not come in equal measures, of course. (Life is rarely regular and tidy.) The best one to develop first is inspiration because an inspired person can resolve to discover whatever information he needs. Given the desire to do so, the mind of man can master almost any challenge.

There are exceptions, but even these are usually only temporary. Highly motivated scientists haven’t yet discovered the causes and cure for all cancers, but their inspired tenacity brings us ever closer to the day when they will. Many of nature’s riddles and mysteries remain unsolved, but as long as motivation stays pumped up, progress will be made. If your goal is to keep getting closer to an answer, eventually you will get to say “ah ha! ” and it’s the ah ha’s in life that keep us going with vigor.

I challenge you to name any personal goal not susceptible to diligent application of your will.

But that’s just the first part, the easy part. Even if you have a strong streak of inspiration, whether you built it up over time, out of frustrated worry, the need for change, or it came as a sudden up welling of courage, it still won’t be easy. Even assuming you possess solid self-confidence and there are no missing facts preventing you from proceeding, staying the course won’t be easy. Next come the decisions and trade-offs.

It’s been said that all of life is a tradeoff. I prefer the description that all living is relationship. It’s not just a matter of giving up something for something else and trying to end up with more than before. It’s a matter of making decisions in light of ever changing circumstances. It’s staying balanced on a moving platform. It’s keeping your knees bent.

Many of these decisions will have to do with time and its limits, or habits and their demand for time. These two opponents time and habits are stubborn and you must be prepared to deal with them with strength and flexibility. The standard rule is: flexibility creates time and time creates choices. You want more of both: more time, more choices. So be ready to be firm with yourself in conquering habits that demand your time and give you little in return.

As you assess your habits, expect to find more than you realized. It’s the nature of habits that we no longer notice them until something breaks the pattern and they are no longer there. Then we get restless or irritable and may not recognize why. It’s just a simple case of habit hunger. This response is a big element in homesickness striking while on vacation. Just when we’re supposed to be having a good time, taking a break from the routines that seemed mundane and fretful at home, we want them back. We want things we’re used to, and feel uncomfortable with new places, changing schedules and missing habits. It’s habit hunger.

This syndrome is recognized easily in our “bad habits” (often a euphemism for addictions), like craving a cigarette or coffee. Upset the routine for these habits and our mind and body really let us know. The “hunger” comes and calls for a “fix. The syndrome is just as active in more subtle ways. Do you have a yearning to see the mail as soon as it comes? Do you keep the TV on just for company, without really paying attention to it? Do you give the newspaper a long, leisurely read on Sunday morning, ads and all, every week, rain or shine? We all have a thousand patterns that end up structuring our time.

This is not to say that habits per se are bad. Many are positive, like getting regular exercise. Plenty are just plain practical, like paying the bills on time. The good ones and the practical ones should be cultivated because they save time or give you back more energy that you give to them. But the bad ones should be weeded-out as soon as you recognize them.

Be bold. Give up a few just for the experience of being master over yourself. Like clocks and fire, habits make good servants, but poor masters. They should be routinely inspected, like electrical wiring, looking for frayed edges that point to trouble. If they leave you short of time or energy, what keeps them in your life? Why not clear some time by clearing out some old habits? They’re free. You can pick up new ones and pull back the old ones anytime. But first why not give yourself the freedom and opportunity of time released for new purposes, for new goals. Change what you want to change and want more. Keep reaching, do more, be more, with motivation and information, your unbeatable combination.

Jim Tunney, Ed. D., has been an NFL official since 1960 and is known by many as the “dean of referees.” He is president of The Institute for the Study of Motivation and Achievement in Lakewood, California. For information about Mr. Tunney’s speaking schedule or motivating cassette tape packages please write P.O. Box 189, Lakewood, CA 90714 or call 213/860-0555.