Salesmen and Saleswomen Tell Their Story

An optional question in our Sex in Selling Survey asked the participants to describe an experience they’ve had with a client or co-worker where they felt uncomfortable or confused. Interestingly, only 36 salesmen (18 percent of all male respondents) compared the optional section, while 66 saleswomen (39.5 percent) shared their experiences and how they handled the problems they’ve encountered.

Here is a selection of their comments.

Saleswomen Reported:

From a single 27-year-old saleswoman with five years of experience, earning $25-$40K a year:

“The client, after I gave my closing statement, leaned over the table and gave me a kiss. I told him that where I came from, a kiss was as good as a handshake. I turned the contract around and put a pen in his hand – he signed and then I reassigned the account . . .to a man.”

A 47-year-old district manager with 15 years of experience, who is remarried and earns $75-$100K writes:

“Uncomfortable feelings do occur, especially when you’re on the road and prostitutes are sent to the room – or when someone tells you that the person you’re traveling with is lecherous. Take everything in stride – don’t judge, keep your mouth shut, and above all – go to your room alone after dinner.”

From a 32-year-old sales manager with three years of experience, who is remarried, income – $41-$55K:

“I have been sexually harassed by my boss in front of a client. I had no resort but to put down my boss, which was effective, but the entire situation embarrassed the client. I transferred out of this man’s work group.”

A single 24-year-old sales representative with half a year’s experience, making $25-$40K, tells us:

“My boss told me he had a dream involving me sexually. I laughed – said nothing to anyone – and kept my distance from for awhile. Sexuality necessarily comes up in male/female relationships. It must be handled appropriately and professionally.”

A 45-year-old divorcee and vice president of sales with 10 years experience, earning $75-$100K, recalls an incident that happened at the beginning of her career:

“With no encouragement from me, a client began casually putting his hands on me (waist, arms, fanny) in the elevators and stairwells while doing a walking survey for a price on a building. I was scared and tried to ignore him, but he knew what he was doing. I’ve never gone back to that account. He’s been with the hospital for years and years and I feel that the administration probably either knows about it or wouldn’t believe it anyway.”

This experience comes from a married 34-year-old sales manager with three years of experience, with an income under $25K:

“A coworker who was responsible for training me was a flirtatious, attractive man of my age. However, his lighthearted flirting grew to constant sexual innuendoes. Then his brief good-bye hugs, which I had always enjoyed, became longer and firmer. I began to ignore all sexual comments, was very cool towards him when working or socializing, and avoided any touching. It didn’t take him long to catch on.”

A 29-year-old divorcee with six years of selling experience tells us that:

“A purchasing agent once waved his PO book and blatantly said, ‘Have sex with me and I’ll give you an order.’ He also offered to write a false PO for $1,000 directly to me in exchange for sex. After I thought about it (I really needed the money) for two minutes, I decided that even though he was one of my best clients, I would not call on him anymore.”

And a single 30-year-old advertising sales director with 10 years of experience, earning $25-$40K, says that:

“I hire and train salespeople, the majority of whom are women. They are given two classes in self-defense and told, both verbally and in writing, that they don’t have to take sexual pressure from clients. I tell them to first try to steer the client back to business and if that doesn’t work, leave. There have been cases where the salesperson had to leave. One client even got locked in his own meat locker after trying to chase a saleswoman into it. Women in sales need to be aware of their sexual power over men and should be careful. Stick to business, be a professional, not a second class male – but a first class female.”

Salesmen Wrote:

A 53-year-old married real estate broker making $41-55K with 15 years of experience tell us that:

“I have had several cases where sex was a factor in the relationship, but I’ve decided that you reap what you sow. Once you start, you create negative forces against you that will destroy your family and your business.”

From a married 39-year-old salesman with 17 years of experience and a yearly income between $75-$100K:

“Women are a pleasant addition to the professional levels of business, not just because of their aesthetic appeal but because they so often contribute fresh perspectives to tired old business situations – they tend to think from a different angle and aren’t tied to tradition. Hopefully, the sexual fantasies will always remain in my mind. The key here is a matter of self-control and self-discipline – just as it is in every other aspect of professional selling, or for that matter, life in general.”

After 20 years of experience in selling, this married 50-year-old sales manager who earns $56-$75K has found that:

“If you don’t have adequate selling techniques, and have to rely on sexual prowess to sell, you are probably out of your main thrust in life which should be to accomplish long-lasting and satisfying goals.”

A married 32-year-old marketing consultant with 14 years of experience and a yearly income between $75-$100K says:

“I know right from wrong. Whenever I deal with a client, it’s solely for the reason of business profit. Besides, whenever I want and need sex, I go home to my wife.”

This 41-year-old, three times remarried sales manager, who has five years of experience and earns $25-$40K, tells us that:

“Coworkers who act flirtatiously toward me cause a defensive reaction – I assume that they are attempting to ‘set me up,’ get whatever it is that’s on their agenda, and then walk away snickering to themselves. I even had one female worker rubbing my knee. With the flirts, I’ll good-naturedly flirt along with them (with my defenses on guard). The knee rubber was simply ignored and she stopped.”

From a 30-year-old married district sales manager with four years of experience and an income of $41-55K comes this story:

“A female customer, a bit older than myself, invited me into her apartment after an evening of entertainment. We parted diplomatically. I never allowed the conversation to lead in that direction. We eventually got her business and we’re on friendly terms. In a business where repeat selling is involved, sex or romance can’t help in the long run. If you’re married, it can’t help in the short run either.”

This 35-year-old sales manager with 17 years of experience, who makes $25-$40K, says that:

“As a sales manager, I had control of all but one of my salespeople. Through this women’s use of her feminine attributes to my superior, she was always able to sidestep my directives. I realized that I was no match for this salesgirl, so I accepted the fact and worked around it. Finally, she quit. But not without leaving me with a hard-nose reputation – something that took me years to overcome.”

And this married 53-year-old salesman with 28 years of experience, who earns $25-$40K, states that:

“I refuse to follow any impulse other than a business tack. And I firmly believe that a friendly business-like relationship with clients, their employees, and/or my associates is essential to personal happiness and long-range business success.”