Why Can’t a Saleswoman Be Like a Salesman?

Henry Higgins, in the musical comedy “My Fair Lady,” in exasperation asks of his friend Pickering,

“Why can’t a woman be more like a man?

Men are so decent, such regular chaps,

Ready to help you through any mishaps,

Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.

Why can’t a woman be a chum?

“Well, chums, here’s the lowdown from a selected group of sales managers on just how saleswomen can achieve that coveted title. In an informal poll we asked them to refute Henry Higgins’ claims. They told us that while saleswomen have innate strengths to overshadow their weaknesses, and while some zoom to the top in sales, certain of their sisters seem to falter by the wayside. Henry Higgins must have known the reasons; he seemed to be speaking of the latter when he sang,

“Straightening out their hair is all they ever do,

Why don’t they straighten out the mess that’s inside?”*

In some instances sales managers echoed Henry Higgins’ exasperation when we asked them: Why shouldn’t a saleswoman be more like a salesman?

John Mitchell, National Sales Training Manager, BMW

“Women are not taught how to get along in the competitive environment. They have to reverse their upbringing to get past that hurdle. Training is a rarity in our field for both men and women, but on top of that, women feel disoriented in this historically male dominated field of automobiles. Right now ten percent of our sales force is female and that’s an increase over the past two years. We have a high turnover rate and the women who out earns a man is an exception.

“The only way for them to build their confidence is by understanding their innate strengths. These are (1) their incredible empathy and sensitivity to client needs; and (2) they are, by nature and cultural conditioning great listeners. That gives them two of the five great attributes of any top salesperson. They need to add (3) comprehensive product knowledge, (4) competitive drive, and (5) professional selling skills to compete successfully with their male counterparts.”

Mr. Mitchell added that an attractive saleswoman has to deal with male come ons and must therefore be aware of the relationship with the client. Henry Higgins would have certainly agreed with Mitchell when he further stated, “Women have a disadvantage because of their emotional cycles.”

Mr. Mitchell was not alone in this opinion as we shall see . . .

Tom DeMaio, Sales Manager, World Book & Childcraft

“I was first hired here by a woman. As a matter of fact, she was very helpful and we established a good working rapport. I naturally went on hiring women. Ninety percent of our sales team are women and half of our management staff are former teachers. I myself came from a teaching career. What I’d like to see in my sales team is for them to set their goals and sights higher. But that’s tough to do when many of them are women with family responsibilities. Their kids get sick or they have to get them to scout meetings or piano lessons. They’re naturally, I’d even say, biologically, held back from the kind of drive and commitment that a person living a more independent lifestyle would have.”

Mr. DeMaio told us that his daughter is a saleswoman with a large credit card company. She sells accounts to businesses, dealing mostly with men, and according to her father, “Doing a heck of a job!” In this one case at least Henry Higgins needn’t have asked,

“Why do they do everything their mothers do?

Why don’t they grow up like their father instead?”*

Biology, mother nature’s answer to survival, does not preoccupy only male sales managers, it’s a subject on which female sales managers also have strong opinions.

Mary Broussard, Sales Manager, Guaranty Bank & Trust Co.

“Our total sales team numbers forty, all women. We sell a variety of financial services to men and women. The ratio of male to female on our sales force could change over the next few years, but so far no man has ever applied for the job. Banking seems to me a perfect sales career for a woman. We were all part of the service organization here until the banking business changed so drastically. That’s when we all moved into sales. Since we made the shift together as a team, I am growing in the sales area along with my sales team. We work on a salary plus commission basis and I am pleased with eighty percent of our saleswomen’s performances.

“I recognize their achievements with awards and they respond well to that. I think women are naturally good organizers, and they attend to details and follow up on paperwork. They are attuned to customers’ needs and by nature seek to provide service whenever possible.

“The way I see it saleswomen have one big problem. They can’t handle a ‘no’. They must learn how to do that; it’s just not something that comes naturally. When they get a ‘no’ from a prospect or client, they take it personally, feel rejected and hurt. It really slows their progress. They must learn to think the whole process through to the end.”

Henry Higgins said practically the same thing to Pickering,

“Why is thinking something women never do?

Why is logic never even tried?”*

There’s no denying that rejection hurts. Separating rejection of a product or service from rejection of one’s self is a good start. If that’s logic then we’re all for it. But again, illogical behavior is not the sole domain of women.

Joyce Haag, Administrative Assistant, Foremost Insurance

“Since were are in the South, women often have to try harder. There are some real old fashioned attitudes down here. If a woman knows the product she’ll do all right. But she has to prove herself all the time. A man will be accepted at face value.

“I think a mixed team is a great plus. Women can learn a lot from their male colleagues but they have to be assertive enough to take the lead when necessary. Like asking a salesman out to lunch to talk tactics and business. They need to be more oriented to solving problems and less to complaining about the way things are. Saleswomen also have to be more competitive since they can’t take the job for granted. Everyone is checking up on them right now so there’s a real push to perform.

“My boss is a great motivator. He tends to test saleswomen by letting them solve their own problems. But he’ll call the men to talk about theirs. Sometimes salesmen take their positions for granted. I’d like to see them act in a more personable way – less aggressive and more customer needs oriented.”

The following from Henry Higgins seems to apply to the above.

“One man in a million may shout a bit,

Now and then there’s one with slight defects,

One perhaps whose truthfulness you doubt a bit,

But by and large we are a marvelous sex.”*

Well, Henry Higgins certainly summed that up. Pickering agreed. Perfect logic! But when logic fails, it’s time for tactical maneuvers.

Martin Reiser, Sales Manager, The Drug House

“In my experience, saleswomen have a competitive spirit but they need to channel it in the right direction if they want to get results on the bottom line. They really don’t understand the competitive game and how it’s played. They simply don’t know how to lose a battle and still win the war.

“A good salesperson follows through and has to be persistent. Paying attention to an account creates an interpersonal relationship. Eventually that account will give you more and more business.

“Our sales team has 18 men and one woman. I train my people to think like the person they’re selling to. Selling is becoming more and more service-oriented. Extra service wins the battle over the long run.

“I used to be a retail buyer. And I can tell you that ninety percent of the salespeople I saw were women. If I would say ‘no’ to them, they would become testy and not know when or how to make a tactical retreat. Some would cry. Now there are a lot of salesmen who also don’t know how to take ‘no.’ But I do feel that saleswomen are fighting biology.”

Henry Higgins had a crystal clear picture of how rejection feels.

“Women are irrational that’s all there is to that,

Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags.

They’re nothing but exasperating, irritating,

Vacillating, calculating, agitating,

Maddening, and infuriating hags.”*

When my three year old wakes her sister up at six a.m. and her sister tells her to get lost, the three year old has a perfectly sound way of dealing with rejection. She simply bites her sister real hard and that makes my three year old feel totally vindicated. She’s not yet worried about the greater issues of success and failure.

Debbie Ronning, Sales Director, Mary Kay Cosmetics

“I think motivation for women comes from within. Of course, I encourage participation in as many events and meetings as possible. Women certainly respond well to being recognized for their achievements. I try to inspire them to work toward higher goals.”

“I feel that their main problem is that they’re not assertive enough. They’re afraid to hear the word ‘no’ so that getting out the door or picking up the phone becomes a problem. They are immobilized by fear of both success and failure.”

Henry Higgins spoke about what this fear can do to a fair damsel:

“Why can’t a woman be more like a man?

If I were a woman who’d been to a ball,

Been hailed as a princess by one and all,

Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?

And carry on as if home were in a tree?

Would I run off and never tell me where I’m going?

Why can’t a woman be like me?”*

Who among us hasn’t felt let down after closing a big sale? Success and failure both represent a threat. The question is: which is greater and which the lesser threat?

Greg Blair, Advertising Manager, Union Carbide Corp

“The main problem for a saleswoman is customers who refuse to take her seriously, who don’t see her as capable. These are often older males and their complaints are at heart psychological.”

Henry Higgins obviously feels a kinship with older males when he tells Pickering,

“Why can’t a woman take after a man?

Men are so pleasant, so easy to please,

Whenever you’re with them, you’re always at ease.”*

The salesperson prospect relationship is at best comfortable. It is unrealistic to expect it to be stress free. It is realistic, however, to expect equal pay for equal work.

Karen Wichman, Account Manager, Systema Corp.

“I see a real lack of ongoing top notch training and counseling for salespeople. Women will tend to take the initiative and be more confrontative with managers in demanding information. They could go to co-workers more often, successful ones that is. Some managers recommend books and courses to their salespeople but they allow women less rope when it comes to responsibility for self-improvement.

“Women are not as motivated by money the way men are. Men tend to follow a mentor. They move up together. Saleswomen look for the dollar, but they also look for inner satisfaction. They divide priorities. Saleswomen and salesmen are assertive on a purely individual basis.

“Saleswomen are looking for stronger management. They often feel they get only surface acceptance from buyers and that women buyers make them work even harder. Managers see no problems and many benefits from a mixed gender sales team. But if a male manager gets burned once by a saleswoman, he’s likely thereafter to choose a man. Male managers motivate from externals while female managers motivate from inside; from a personal, internal level.

“Some women refuse to play on the team while they also try to avoid the management maze entirely. This is why you see very few women in middle management and even fewer at the top. The game is complex and, in most cases, women are unschooled, unprepared, and unwilling to enter the race.

“When it comes to earnings, don’t let all those equal statistics fool you. In many cases saleswomen are starting at a considerably lower base salary than a salesman. They may achieve the same end result through more sales, thus higher commissions. But that means they are also working harder and more productively for the same pay. When a woman goes for a sales position interview, she should always ask what the negotiable base range of salary is, if possible, she should find that out even before the interview.”

Henry Higgins was succinct in his view of how the world works:

“Why can’t a woman be more like a man?

Men are so honest so thoroughly square,

Eternally noble, historically fair;

Who when you win will always give your back a pat.

Why can’t a woman be like that?”*

Indeed, why can’t we all be eternally noble, historically fair? As long as we are souls and minds inhabiting bodies, we will be subject to our biology as well as our emotions. A saleswoman can learn how to play the game, be competitive, practice assertiveness, take rejection in stride, and play it smart on the bottom line. None of this will change her biology. Her biology, however, needn’t get in the way.

Why can’t a saleswoman be like a salesman?

Does she have to scream, Hey, listen, you bum,

Whenever a client doesn’t think she’s a chum?

If she’s rejected by a client need she whimper,

And run to hide her pretty face behind a fan?

Do her emotions always have to make her simper,

And seek protection from some strong and virile man?

Does she have to rely on some strong silent mate?

To protect her from sealing her very own fate?

Can she make it alone, can she be her own chum?

She just has to know where she’s coming from.

*Quotes from MY FAIR LADY-“”A Hymn to Him,” Copyright 1956 by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe. Reprinted by permission of Chappell Music Co., N.Y.